Take a break from meeting other peoples needs and try to re-parent yourself; show yourself compassion and listen to your thoughts and feelings. Identify your goals. Focus on your spiritual, physical, emotional and social needs and take responsibility in reaching out to meet them. Consider the question, “What do I want to do?”.
Set clear and healthy boundaries. Learning how to say no shows assertion and can be developed through practice. By saying yes to everyone, we can be saying no to ourselves. You are unique, don’t try to supress your flaws, accept them instead. You do not need to live up to someone else’s expectations and standards. You are worthy of love and acceptance, you are good enough!
5 Ways to be Assertive
- No should or ought’s…Instead choose words like “I need, I will, I’d like…” eg: “I need the contract by 5pm today”.
- Avoid words that undervalue what you are saying. Rather than saying “I could be wrong…” choose words such as “I believe…”. Instead of “this is a crazy idea…” choose “I have a novel idea!”.
- Set clear boundaries. “I can meet you Wednesday but Thursday this week doesn’t work for me”. Don’t feel the need to apologies or over explain the situation or your reasoning.
- Use “I feel statements such as “When you don’t listen to me, I feel disrespected.